The fuel price is going up soon, yet again, for the umpteenth time. Perhaps they could spill less liquid gold, say, over the oceans … waste not want not. And who gives a waddling wahoo about the penguins. Honestly. If they could halve the price on a full tank I’d settle for a fluffy toy any day. Fluffy toys don’t leave behind stinky islands. Just think about it. More fish for us! Don’t get me wrong. I am fully committed to what is ethically right. I am just taking the scenic route to that particular point and last time I checked my vehicle didn’t run on penguins.
I heard someone claim that uncircumcised individuals aren’t considered men according to certain traditions. It must have been a humbling experience being subjected for three centuries by a bunch of boys with way more lethal toys. While we’re on the subject of men, some not only know but also care for every child they father … and then some. Who’s your daddy now, big boy?
I bet you hate the fact that I still smoke in your face on paper. Can’t afford to have the price of your shares dropping now can I? Tell you what, being a reasonable fellow, I promise to quit once Rupert is rich enough, just one more dollar, please. Being listed in the Microsoft Word dictionary means nothing in my world when literary giants appear to be fantastical: Mongane Wally Serote … to add or not to add to my spellchecker, now that is but one question.
It seems people just can’t say no to me nowadays. They eagerly state: “No, thank you.” Don’t you just despise smug politeness?
Recently my doctor recommended that I take in more fruit salad so I spent a few weeks listening to 5fm. I have a severe case of food poisoning now. And a full grasp on what return business entails. God forbid some doctors might actually attempt to heal someone. The world could not stomach a doctor driving a jalopy or one unable to afford his local club fees. Speaking of golf: do they draw straws before big tournaments to see who gets to play with the set of balls with the holing devices inside? You got to love your gods, these walking billboards, such keen participants about the great musical chair. And the violinist never runs out of appropriate pieces for every fathomable occasion.
Have you noticed how words change meaning in the name of commerce? A hot set of wheels isn’t classy. Nor a pair of shades that gives you the appearance of a fly. That’s called paid for grandeur, doll. Did you notice the silent r? I wish I could be of assistance but every waking moment another abraham with his isaac rocks up at the altar so I am slightly preoccupied. What can I say in my defence … the right human is not available at president. Never fear, have your personal tutor enlighten you.
I’ve also been following some elections as of late. Behind the scenes the great whore is bleeding out in a cup while the mangy crowds choose to listen to some fat politician rambling on about the curtains being stuck. If you haven’t realised it by now, whenever a governing body claims to have things under control it basically means that they’ve got their finger on the eject button and the kader worth the least amount of votes is about to abort the mother ship. Lucky sod!
And you dear sir, who said you may have a seat, this parking is reserved for drive-thru customers only.
Adriaan
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Dis dalk nes jy seg Adriaan... MAAR iemand wat die taal verstaan het dit millennia gelede so vir ons neergepen: The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again.... Ecclesiastes 1:6-7 En so aan...