Dear reader
It has been an eventful few months for me as a teacher at a public school. I have had trouble putting into words the many (at times scary) experiences I have had teaching learners who find themselves in very challenging social and economic circumstances.
There were too many instances when I asked myself why I didn’t rather choose to teach at a model C school. I often thought that it was the learners at township schools who really suffered, but I can assure you that my experience with learners from places such as Manenberg, Mitchells Plain and the rest of the Cape Flats has been an eye-opening and possibly life-changing experience.
I therefore decided to write down some of the things I’ve seen and experienced as a teacher in the classroom. At times I scribbled it on a piece of paper whenever I witnessed something that made me catch my breath or made me rethink life as I know it.
Teaching these learners has proved to be a challenge. Most of them have given up on education – and they despise those people who try to give it to them, such as their parents and teachers. School is a burden to them and so they make teaching a burdensome experience altogether. To a great extent issues like gangsterism, abuse, extreme bullying and poverty do play a role in their poor performances at school. However, for the teachers the frustration of teaching these learners begins to outweigh the sympathy felt for them. At some point you stop making excuses for the learners that you teach.
Each day feels like a battle. It is almost too great a challenge trying to help learners overcome their own mindset – they believe they are destined to fail. They laugh at success.
“Uit 'n klaskamer op die Kaapse Vlakte” (“Diary of a teacher”) forms part a personal teaching diary I’ve been keeping to give the reader an idea of some of my experiences at school as well as those of the learners that I teach. At times I write in English, at other times in Afrikaans. It is not my intention to discredit anyone that forms part of this experience.
Ms January
Inleiding
Dit is ’n paar weke nadat die skool begin het. Ek is besig om vinnig te leer hoe dinge hier werk. Daar is vreeslike dissiplinêre probleme, maar baie min word ooit opgelos. Daar is nie effektiewe prosedures om leerders met ernstige oortredings te dissiplineer nie. Onderwysers is al vir ’n tyd lank desperaat en van hulle gebruik verkeerde metodes om dissipline toe te pas. Ek besef ook dat ek my lesse so basies as moontlik moet hou. Ek sukkel om uitdagende lesse aan te bied soos by die vorige skole waar ek klas gegee het. Daar is ’n gaping (in meer as een opsig) tussen die leerders van hierdie skool en daardie leerlinge by model C-skole.
Day 1
It is a few minutes before the first lesson of the day begins. The learners are meant to line up outside my classroom and wait for me to let them inside – I know from experience they won’t do that. I hear them swearing, laughing and playing around outside. It is not the sound of innocent children having fun, but rather of grown-up teenagers defying authority. As soon as I open the classroom door, one of the boys pushes past me and lightly shoves me to the side. He lets himself in without my permission. I tell him to get out of my classroom. He laughs at me as he leaves.
Day 2
Today I had trouble teaching one of my classes. The learners are extremely rude and disruptive. More than half the learners didn’t bring their books to school while the rest didn’t do their homework. Three learners refuse to take their books out of their bags to work. They laugh when I reprimand them. I lose my patience and leave the class to call the head of discipline. He seems reluctant to assist me, but eventually he follows me to my classroom. He comes into the classroom and tells them to listen to the teacher, then leaves in a hurry. As soon as the bell rings, the learners leave the classroom in a noisy fashion. Most of them are laughing and some are swearing.
Day 3
A learner stormed out in tears while I was teaching today. Another crisis! I’m beginning to get used to learners bursting into tears or learners acting strangely or simply not showing up for school. I was informed by another learner and by one of the teachers that they caught the young girl the previous day on the school premises with three school boys performing sexual acts on one another. The three boys were suspended from school for a short period of time. Weeks later and I am still teaching the young girl. The image haunts me every time I look at her.
Dag 4
Tydens pouse vandag stap ek tussen die leerlinge deur na die personeelkamer. Ek sien hoe ’n lang, grofgeboude meisie ’n ander kleiner meisie gryp en teen ’n muur vasdruk. Vir ’n oomblik dink ek hulle speel. Totdat ek die uitdrukking op die fyngeboude klein meisietjie se gesig sien. Sy kry seer en sy sukkel om los te kom. Voordat ek kan keer, gryp die groter meisie Kleintjie se gesig en soen haar op die mond (dis twee skoolmeisies, dink ek by myself). Toe die boelie my sien aankom, stoot sy vir Kleintjie eenkant toe en storm vinnig weg. Ek sukkel om by haar te kom. Ek het te veel sakke op my en daar is vraestelle daarin. Om dit hier sommerso te los en agter ’n leerling aan te hardloop beteken ek waag ’n groot kans. Ek draai terug om vir Kleintjie te troos, maar sy is ook weg. Seker gedink sy sal ook in die moeilikheid kom. Ek het tot op datum nog nie vir Kleintjie of die boelie opgespoor nie. Ek word kwaad wanneer ek daaraan dink.
Dag 5
Ek kry nie die leerlinge stil nie. Een is op sy selfoon, ’n ander sing kliphard terwyl ek praat en ’n ander sit op die tafel met haar rug na my. Ek neem die selfoon af, maak die sanger stil en vra die dame om eerder op ’n stoel te sit. Sy kyk my reguit in die oë, draai weer om en gaan rustig aan met haar gesprek. Ek raak buite myself! Ek skree so op haar dat ek skrik vir my eie stem. Sy klim met ’n glimlag van die tafel af en die kruuste taal wat ek nog ooit gehoor het, kom uit haar mond en word na my toe gerig. Terwyl die leerling met ’n glimlag uit my klaskamer stap, besef ek dis wat sy wou gehad het. Sy het vir hierdie oomblik gewag. Sy wou hê dat ek haar moet haar konfronteer. Ek voel sy het gewen.
My klaskamer klink weer eens soos ’n sirkus. Leerders gooi mekaar met papiere en bordkryt en ’n paar is besig op hulle selfone. Hulle word toegelaat om die goed skool toe te bring. ’n Paar leerlinge praat met mekaar oor bendegeweld en oor hoe hulle gister ’n seun gesien het wat deur ’n dwaalkoeël getref is. Hulle beskryf die voorval in elke besonderheid. Alles terwyl ek besig is om ’n les aan te bied. Ek kan nie nou op “homonieme” en “akronieme” fokus nie. Hierdie kinders sit met groter probleme as Afrikaanse huiswerk ...