PERDEBYTJIE: Little “wasp”, how cute! Did you know that when a wasp is engulfed by a swarm of bees, it raises its lower body temperature to that of the bees with deadly consequences for the wasp. Now, now, be careful not to raise your temperature, it might be as unhealthy for you as it is for the wasp, especially for little and cute ones like yourself.
I can fully understand your enthusiasm for the few responses on SêNet. More attention for your mediocre and insignificant writings, with absolutely no competition from the many astute authors of the past for reader attention. With regards to your hollow cliché, “to be part of the solution and not the problem”. My dear girl. Are you so deadpan that you can’t read in my letter a challenge to the powers that be to do something about it. There is little else that I can do, or do you believe that you can do more, not that I believe that you would like to see the status quo changed for reasons already mentioned above. Then the other cliché, “those that shout the loudest, do the least”. Somewhat befuddled in the context of your own letter what? You give yourself away as a “slogan ranter”. The tone in most of you writings give me the impression of a hysterical woman shouting abuses at all and sundry.
JAN RAP: My dear boy. Thanks for the flattering remarks whereby you wrote: Terloops, Auntie Schwartz is een van my gunstelinge op die werf ... maar omdat sy bietjie van 'n vars bries hier is, sy dryf nie saam stroomaf soos 'n dooie vis nie. You just don’t know how you have warmed the cockles of this lady’s old heart with those remarks.
As you correctly stated. I can read and understand Afrikaans very well. To write it is a different matter for me altogether and I am not prepared to prostitute the Afrikaans language in the process, and assuredly the last thing that I would expect from Afrikaners is to respond to me in English. (I have however found many Afrikaners to be better versed in English than myself – where is Dirk D in this regard?)
Furthermore. I stand corrected with regards to Nadine as moderator mentioned by you. I must complement you for searching the archives in order to try and set the record straight. It’s just that I found Melt so cute. To juxtaposition an English, American or French word or sentence in your Afrikaans for the sake of emphasis, I find to be ketch. After all the English, as well as the other major languages do it as well using Latin, Greek or French. (I inserted a Yiddish word ketch for the selfsame reason). So apologies to Cornelius are unnecessary.
CORNELIUS HENN: Nice face. I am sure that Jaco Fourie would like it too! I would however strongly recommend that you shave off the beard and moustache. It does somehow accentuate a wrong erotic impression around the mouth.
You really do fancy yourself. Most writers during Maggie’s term you classify as having written drivel. So in your own eyes you believe yourself to be just great. I believe that in Afrikaans it is called the Eie Ek. I have somehow always had a sadistic delight in seeing how Kobus has incessantly clobbered and ground your brand of Catholism into the ground, yet you still bleatingly persist!
RAN DOODT: You write: SêNet is nou ten minste polities baie meer korrek, en dis die belangrikste ding wat tel, Aunty Shwartz. Moenie kla nie, wees bly. Your tongue in cheek sarcasm is noted, especially the remarks relating to “political correctness”. I am sure that you and others would like to see the stream of letters to SêNet being resumed as in the past. Not only has SêNet lost a number of good (and mediocre) writers who do not in any event blog on Litnet, but lost readership in the process as well ... After all how many are interested in reading a few letters written in the same incessant vein, be it Christian or Atheist.
Greetings
Aunty Schwartz
Kommentaar
Liefste Aunty Schwartz,
Ek gaan nie eers myself probeer verdedig nie, want Antie is heeltemal reg. Ek besef nou dat ek te vinnig in die bynes ingespring het en nie mooi agter die kap van Antie se byl gekom het nie. Gelukkig het Antie die wysheid van die grysheid en kon Antie my mooi reghelp.
Ek is net vreeslik teleurgesteld dat Antie dink, dat al my vorige bydraes "mediocre" en "insignificant" was. Hierdie briewekolom is mos darem nie net vir "astute authors" nie. Dis mos nou hier waar ons "mediocre" perdebye ook mos 'n kansie moet kry om soms 'n steek in te kry!
Antie, my angel hang nou sommer op die grond, na hierdie vreeslike afjak!
Groete van
Mediocre, insignificant, hang-angel-Perdeby
Janee
amen antie!
Beste Tante
Met betrekking tot Cornelius waar jy se: "Nice face. I am sure that Jaco Fourie would like it too! "
Nooit sover gedink nie, maar ja, soos jy se, die mond ... Umm! Ja! Daar's moontlikhede.
Jaco Fourie
'n Bydraer wat ek nogals mis oppie werf, is Pierre van Niekerk.
Pierre is 'n ou werfhaas wat pad gevat het kort voor en met Wouter Ferns en ander karikature soos Tant Alie en Aunty Schwartz hul verskynings gemaak het.
Ek spoeg&blerts hierdie klassieke bydrae onder die opskrif "Open letter to Lafras du Toit" 2008-04-29 van Pierre agter die nom de plume "Gerber Duvalsky" aan Lafras du Toit van destyds.
(begin van aanhaling)
Dear Mr du Toit,
So you think I am a hoax, do you? You should know. After all, you created me. You used your secret hotmail address and supplied SêNet with a false address. (This is in violation of the rules of LitNet and you knew it.) What do you expect now, Mr du Toit? A standing ovation from the readers?
I think not. What you did was immature, bordering on the infantile. I believe you regard this as humour. Well, let me tell you something, Mr Du Toit. Humour is what makes people laugh with you. You do not set about to hurt people's feelings in such a deliberate way where only you can revel in your own self-created and putrid amusement, and call it humour. And you did revel in it, did you not? You set about to make Mr Pierre van Niekerk angry because you like it when he gets angry. However noble that cause may have been, I do not think it should have been done with subjects such as racism and HIV Aids as your tools. That was, and will forever remain, disgusting and deserving of censure and contempt. (I did however enjoy you making me refer to Mr van Niekerk as "linguistically compromised" in my letter to Swaeltjie. I thought that was a masterstroke.)
Not only should you be ashamed of yourself; you have also shamed all those responsible for your upbringing and education. And all this you did under the name Gerber Duvalski or Duvalsky, in reckless abandon, save in the knowledge that you are too "clever" for the "inbreds" to pick up on this anomaly in your surname. Naomi and Melt will be well advised to ban you from this site for life. You are an abomination and not a fit and proper person to consort with normal human beings.
I think I have said enough. After all, you are writing this letter to yourself and that makes you a very sick person in my book.
And then you have the nerve to call ME a cunt!!
Disgustingly yours
Gerber Duvalsky
(einde van aanhaling)
Nou ja, dis hoe dit gedoen is op die ou werf.
Cornelius
Hehe!!
Hallo Jaco,
Nes ek aan die swart tante hierbo my toestemming gegee het, net so mag jy ook my prentjie iewers op 'n privaat plek in jou nes hang.
As dit jou kan help om te ontlas en sodoende net eenkeer een enkele ander onskuldige wese van jou perversiteite spaar, is ek ewig dankbaar daarvoor.
Ek glo dis ou nuus vir jou ook dat perverte hulself, selfs met geparkeerde motors sal bevredig. Enigiets met of sonder hare dien in die onskuld daarvan as stimulasie vir werfhase ...
Groete,
Ekke
Hallo Aunty Schwartz
Ek dink dat die forum agteruitgaan omdat sekere mense so baie briewe geplaas kry (of het dit reggekry). Ek verwys spesifiek na mense soos Kobussie en FW.
Ek weet hoe dis hoe forums soos hierdie werk: omstrede briewe gaan meer aandag trek en kommentaar uitlok.
Die feit is egter dat hierdie mense kommentaar kan uitlok tot op 'n punt. Daarna word mense moeg om hierdie mense keer op keer te wys op hul mallighede.
Fantastiese, logies denkende mense soos Oester verloor gou belangstelling as hulle logiese denkwyses keer op keer moet herhaal aan groentekoppe.
Kleinkoos
Cornelis ou maat.
Jy's te ernstig ou. Sien die hele petalje als ene grap. Jy maak jouself kwesbaar in die proses. Speel saam met die ou tante en wip vir haar 'n paar "karakatuur" klappe terug.
Jaco Fourie
Hi Cornelius,
Ek dink ook nie Aunty Schwartz is heeltemal korrek in haar aannames nie. Tog is dit mos nie in jou aard om ander mense aan te val nie? Ek het baie respek vir Wouter en Jaco. Ons moet dalk maar ook Tant Alie maar respekteer.
Dit is volgens my nie Aunty Schwartz of Pierre of Jaco of wie ookal se skuld dat SeNet so bietjie minder briewe kry deesdae nie. Ek het ook 'n brief daaroor geskryf. Laat maar weet as jy nie saamstem nie. Ek dink net ons moet maar dalk begin uitreik na mekaar, die paar van ons wat oor is, al verskil ons soms!
Johan
Perdebij. Soos wat onse Cornelius uitgewys het, is Aunty Schwartz nie so astute writer soos wat sy dink nie. Haar Ingels is maar bra pateties. Cornelius, ek dink jy het per ongeluk jou ontleding oor die antie se skrywe by die verkeerde brief geplaas. Plaas dit hier. Ek het gedink dit was puik gedoen! 🙂
Beste Jaco,
Dis wat ek doen!
Moet my asseblief nie te persoonlik vat nie ...
Ek het net die grootste agting vir jou openhartigheid en opregtheid.
Ek meen, jy kon ook soos hierdie ander dwepers agter 'n nom de plume en private profiel gaan skuil het ...
'n Geseende Paasfees vir jou en jou geliefdes,
Cornelius
Hallo Johan,
Ek het grootgeword tussen sulke skerptong queens - genadig altyd aan hul kant.
Vandag het ek egter die onaangename voorreg om aan hul verkeerde kant te wees. Nietemin, ek het darem so 'n smakie hoe hulle kan raak.
Om die een of ander rede land ek telkens in die riool met hierdie karikature. Ek dink tog hulle het iets omtrent my beet wat ek nog ek nog van myself moet leer. Daarom hardloop my kanon 'n bietjie weg as hulle sulke teikens voor my raak. Ek sal beslis moet leer om my in te hou ...
Tog beskou ek hul uitdaging as 'n aansporing. Miskien moet ou Woutie met meer as net sy gewiki waag ...
Jy's reg omtrent die plasing van my ontleding daarom plaas ek dit nou hier.
Dit lees in konteks met die Pierre van Niekerk aanhaling hierbo;
(begin van aanhaling)
PERDEBYTJIE: Little “wasp”, how cute! Did you know that when a wasp is engulfed by a swarm of bees, it raises its lower body temperature to that of the bees with deadly consequences for the wasp. (Waar's jou vraagteken Woutie?) Now, now, be careful not to raise your temperature, it might be as unhealthy for you as it is for the wasp, especially for little and cute ones like yourself.
I can fully understand your enthusiasm for the few responses on SêNet. More attention for your mediocre and insignificant writings, with absolutely no competition from the many astute authors of the past for reader attention. (Jou sinnetjie is lelik gefragmenteer Woutie - hersien asseblief) With regards to your hollow cliché, “to be part of the solution and not the problem”. My dear girl. (Jou sinnetjie is lelik gefragmenteer Woutie - hersien asseblief) Are you so deadpan that you can’t read in my letter a challenge to the powers that be to do something about it. (Waar's jou vraagteken Woutie?) There is little else that I can do, or do you believe that you can do more, not that I believe that you would like to see the status quo changed for reasons already mentioned above. Then the other cliché, “those that shout the loudest, do the least”. Somewhat befuddled in the context of your own letter what? You give yourself away as a “slogan ranter”. The tone in most of you writings give (Dit moes "gives" gewees het Woutie) me the impression of a hysterical woman shouting abuses at all and sundry (Spotbeelde is nogals "sundry" ou Woutie).
JAN RAP: My dear boy. Thanks for the flattering remarks whereby you wrote: Terloops, Auntie Schwartz is een van my gunstelinge op die werf ... maar omdat sy bietjie van 'n vars bries hier is, sy dryf nie saam stroomaf soos 'n dooie vis nie. You just don’t know how you have warmed the cockles of this lady’s old heart (Ag tog - hoe queer!) with those remarks.
As you correctly stated. (Jou sinnetjie is lelik gefragmenteer Woutie - hersien asseblief) I can read and understand Afrikaans very well. To write it is a different matter for me altogether and I am not prepared to prostitute the Afrikaans language in the process, and assuredly the last thing that I would expect from Afrikaners is (Woutie, het Vega jou nie lankal mooi op jou "is" en "are" gewys nie?) to respond to me in English. (I have however found many Afrikaners to be better versed in English than myself [So by my kool - hoe kan 'n mens dit nou glo ou Woutie?] – where is Dirk D in this regard?)
Furthermore. (Jou sinnetjie is lelik gefragmenteer Woutie - hersien asseblief) I stand corrected with regards to Nadine as moderator mentioned by you. I must complement you for searching the archives in order to try and set the record straight. It’s just that I found Melt so cute. To juxtaposition an English, American or French word or sentence in your Afrikaans for the sake of emphasis, I find to be ketch. After all the English, as well as the other major languages do it as well using Latin, Greek or French. (I inserted a Yiddish word ketch for the selfsame reason). So apologies to Cornelius are unnecessary.
CORNELIUS HENN: Nice face. I am sure that Jaco Fourie would like it too! I would however strongly recommend that you shave off the beard and moustache. It does somehow accentuate a wrong erotic impression around the mouth. (Dis algemeen bekend dat perverte hulself, selfs met geparkeerde motors sal bevredig. Enigiets met of sonder hare dien in onskuld daarvan as stimulasie vir jou soort ou Woutie. Ek gee jou dus hiermee my volle toestemming om my prentjie iewers op 'n privaat plek in jou nes te hang).
You really do fancy yourself. Most writers during Maggie’s term you classify as having written drivel. So in your own eyes you believe yourself to be just great. I believe that in Afrikaans it is called the Eie Ek. I have somehow always had a sadistic delight in seeing how Kobus has incessantly clobbered and ground your brand of Catholism into the ground ( "Catholism"!? Daar's nie so iets in Ingels of Afrikaans nie ou Woutie), yet you still bleatingly persist!
RAN DOODT: You write: SêNet is nou ten minste polities baie meer korrek, en dis die belangrikste ding wat tel, Aunty Shwartz. Moenie kla nie, wees bly. Your tongue in cheek sarcasm is noted, especially the remarks relating to “political correctness”. I am sure that you and others would like to see the stream ("stream"!? Anglisisme is algemeen bekend maar wat noem 'n mens dit as 'n "rockspider" of te wel 'n "rope" sy Afrikaans na Ingels om so verkrag?) of letters to SêNet being resumed as in the past. Not only has SêNet lost a number of good (and mediocre) writers who do not in any event blog on Litnet, but lost readership in the process as well ... After all how many are interested in reading a few letters written in the same incessant vein, be it Christian or Atheist.
Greetings
Aunty Schwartz
(einde van aanhaling)
Dis slegs die spoeg van 'n vlooi in die oseaan van bitterheid op die werf wat soveel aansluiting by die pous van die ge-aliede huiskerkbende, my amigo in Adam die ou grote Kobus de Klerk vind.
'n Geseende Paasnaweek vir jou en jou geliefdes Johan,
Cornelius