My year of not getting sh*tfaced!
Pamela Power
Jonathan Ball
ISBN: 9781776192427
Review:
Pamela Power has written a compulsive memoir in My year of not getting sh*tfaced. To be honest, I have a heavy workload and can’t always focus on reading much when I come home in the evenings, but this was a book I didn’t want to put down, perhaps because of its confessional nature. It reminded me of one of my all-time comfort reads (and viewings), Bridget Jones’s diary. Obviously, Bridget (Pamela) has grown up now, and the very real issues of paying bills, sorting out teenagers’ futures and dealing with an overwhelming and unending workload are very different to those discussed in BJD. The similarities are, however, that Pamela and Bridget bare their souls in a similarly frank and confidential manner. Both also have a daily list of alcohol units and regular weigh-ins as well as taking the temperature on relationships. Of course, the difference is that one is fiction and one is not, and at the heart of Pamela’s book is a serious issue. What I loved most about the writing was Pamela’s fierce openness and honesty about moments which don’t always cast her in a positive light. This style creates an intimacy between the reader and the author, as the reader feels that she is addressed personally by the author.
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What I loved most about the writing was Pamela’s fierce openness and honesty about moments which don’t always cast her in a positive light. This style creates an intimacy between the reader and the author, as the reader feels that she is addressed personally by the author.
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Pamela is not afraid to spill the tea about her and others’ less admirable moments when they are sh*tfaced. She does protect her friends and family by using glorious Shakespearean names for those who should remain anonymous. As a dedicated keeper of diaries myself – I feel completely out of sorts if I haven’t written in my diary for a few days – I loved the immediacy of the diary genre which Pamela uses. The subject matter, as I mentioned earlier, is a serious one. Pamela takes a hard look at the culture of so-called social drinking and how alcohol is used as the lubricant for many, if not all, social gatherings these days. She explains how she first started drinking when she was still a teenager, and how this was regarded as a normal rite of passage by her family and friends. Unfortunately, this acceptance of drinking a lot led to the habitual “getting sh*tfaced” of the title. Pamela’s attempt to monitor carefully her ingrained binge drinking makes for a very relatable journey, one which essentially transforms her drinking patterns. The memoir makes one reassess how most modern South Africans resort to liquor to mark every memorable occasion. Although the subject matter is serious, Pamela’s self-deprecating wit makes for laugh-out-loud moments and self-recognition. These characteristics make for a juicy and enlightening read. I highly recommend this memoir from a very gifted writer.
Q and A:
I know you write a regular blog, “Go, see, do”, with your husband for your joint company. Did you plan to write this memoir before you were asked by a publisher (lucky fish!) to write something which is similar in tone to your blog?
I had vague ideas about perhaps submitting something, but wasn’t sure whether there was a market for it. I was writing the blog anyway and had been getting good feedback for that, which I think gave me the impetus to suggest a nonfiction book to Annie (my publisher at Jonathan Ball). But what really motivated me was the cash – I was horribly broke and I needed to pay the school fees.
Have you always kept a diary? If so, what is it about writing in a diary that you find compulsive or helpful?
I’ve kept a diary for 30-odd years. I started off doing actual written entries in a book, but as my handwriting is fairly appalling (the slapping from the nuns had no effect) I then started keeping it on my computer, and I’ve done that for over 20 years now. Writing is a compulsion for me; I write things down to vent, to reflect and to make sense of the world.
You talk about the way alcohol was used by your whole family as a coping mechanism, and you started to do the same thing at a young age. Do you feel that alcohol abuse/addiction is a genetic thing? Or does your year of moderation prove otherwise?
I have my doubts that it’s genetic. I think that the anxiety is genetic and the alcohol is a form of self-medication. We also learn from the example set by our parents/caregivers. The whole “needing a drink to relax” after a stressful day and the adults in our lives having what seems to be a whale of a time when they’re drunk – we learn that that’s how we should behave. It’s one of my regrets that I passed this down to my kids, that we need alcohol to have a good time.
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I have my doubts that it’s genetic. I think that the anxiety is genetic and the alcohol is a form of self-medication. We also learn from the example set by our parents/caregivers. The whole “needing a drink to relax” after a stressful day and the adults in our lives having what seems to be a whale of a time when they’re drunk – we learn that that’s how we should behave.
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I relate to your people-pleasing, work addiction ways. We are the kind of people bosses love, as we’ll just about kill ourselves to get things delivered on time. Being a freelancer doesn’t make things easy either. As you say, you’re afraid to turn down work in case it dries up, and you’ll take on three jobs – as you’ve done with writing for three TV shows – just in case. Do you feel that your awareness of your work addiction has helped you pace yourself better? Or – I hope this is the case – have finances eased up after the lockdown so that you don’t have to push yourself to work 15 hours a day?
Finances have thankfully improved, and I am now taking what I call a break – only working on one show and preparing to work on a second (ha ha). But I am trying to quell the work addiction. We went overseas at the end of June, and for the first time in six years I didn’t take work on holiday with me, which was a revelation. Also, it is an issue of boundaries. No boss is going to tell you to work less; you have to learn to put those boundaries in place – not easy for people-pleasing co-dependents.
You talk about going to UKZN Pietermaritzburg and doing drama. All the plays I wrote and put on during the early 2000s were put on at the Hexagon, and I worked closely with Peter and Marita Mitchell and Sandra and Marcus Henning, so I’m intrigued to know more about your experiences there. Did you go to school in PMB, and why did you choose to do drama? How lucky you were to meet your husband there! How did you meet? Such a shared history must be a solid foundation for your relationship. How did drama help you in your writing?
Although I was born in Maritzburg, I grew up in Zimbabwe and finished school in Joburg. I ended up going to university in Maritzburg because my parents had moved there, and I have to say I absolutely loved it and thought I got a brilliant education there. We missed each other, as I left Maritzburg at the end of 1994 and moved up to Joburg; but yes, I know all the people you talk about, and they had a big influence on me.
In terms of why I chose drama, the educational psychologist I went to suggested that I should become a writer, but in 1986 there were no creative writing degrees and I had always loved acting and dancing, so that was the next best thing. My husband and I met in the drama department (I did my BA and found my husband). He had been to the army, so he was in first year and I was in third year, and the first time he saw me I was dressed as a dominatrix – so that really set the tone of our relationship. Drama gave me a fantastic grounding in terms of scriptwriting. It’s also helped me in the performance aspects of being an author (which many authors find crippling) – being on panels, getting interviewed, promoting my books, etc.
Writing for a daily soap is a really demanding pursuit. You detail the way you have to rewrite and edit scripts for what seems like forever. You also have to please a myriad of people with every single script. I’m used to this as a screenwriter, and it’s the most daunting and exhausting part of the process. Writing to a deadline does make you much more productive as a writer, though. You don’t have an excuse to wait for a muse! You have also written three novels, and now this memoir. Which form of writing do you like most?
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This is like being asked which is your favourite child! I like them all. I enjoy the collaborative process of screenwriting, as novel writing can be a lonely business.
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This is like being asked which is your favourite child! I like them all. I enjoy the collaborative process of screenwriting, as novel writing can be a lonely business. There is nothing more fun than being in the writers’ room on a TV show and coming up with stories. But with screenwriting, you don’t really get any credit. People often think that the actors come up with their own lines – which, if a show’s doing badly, I’m extremely happy to go along with. Whereas, with novel and memoir writing, you get all the credit, and meanwhile there is an entire village of people getting that book to publication.
Please tell me more about Chasing Marian? I was vaguely aware of the novel being written through the Twittersphere. I’ve always loved Marian Keyes’s writing and think that the genre she writes in, so-called chick lit, is such a joy to read. I’ve always said that Jane Austen could be accused of writing chick lit, too, and look how respected she is! You wrote it with three of your friends, Amy Heydenrych, Qarnita Loxton and Gail Schimmel. I’m so pleased to see it’s made the Sunday Times Longlist, and this is a huge accolade. Marian Keyes has also given this novel her blessing, which is remarkable. The idea of writing a joint novel is quite foreign to me, so please would you tell me and the readers of LitNet how you decided to write a novel as a foursome and how the writing process works? Could you also tell us how you managed to be in communication with Marian Keyes herself?
Marian was coming out to South Africa in 2020 to promote her new book; I was going to be interviewing her at the Franschhoek Literary Festival, and my three friends were going to be on a panel with her at the Kingsmead Book Fair. Then the lockdown hit and everything was cancelled, and we were all very depressed that we weren’t going to get to see Marian, so we decided to write a book about it. Marian, by this point, had followed us on Twitter, so Gail contacted her and told her we’d written a book about her. She read it in one evening, gave us her blessing and that was that. She is the most generous and supportive superstar author. Honestly, she’s been brilliant to us.
The second-last question is one of the ones some people dread. What is the next novel, book or screenplay you’re going to write which isn’t part of your daily work-writing? I’m looking forward to it already!
I have turned my second novel, Things unseen, into a screenplay and am currently tweaking that, plus I’m busy pitching a thriller to publishers, so let’s see how that goes. I would also like to write a sequel to Sh*tfaced at some point, as I’ve had a whole lot of people wanting to know what happened next in my life, which has been pretty cool.
And finally, your year of not getting sh*tfaced ended about a year ago now. Has the process changed you forever, and have you managed not to get sh*tfaced again? 😉
I am definitely waaaaay more aware of the way I drink now. Also, the husband joined me in dry February this year; it was the first time we’d ever had a completely sober date, which was rather wonderful. I haven’t been off-my-face drunk since the book, but I did get sick from alcohol after a Christmas party at the end of last year. I was pretty annoyed with myself but did realise that part of the issue is that once you cut down on the booze, you no longer have the same capacity you once had, so you do have to pace yourself accordingly.
Thank you for taking the time to answer these questions, Pamela. I loved the book, and I’ll have to get Chasing Marian soon, too.
Thank you so much!