My name is Annzra Denita Naidoo. Although my ID defines my race as Indian, I have discovered that I am actually a white South African.
Now before anyone gets the wrong idea, I am not a self-hating Indian who is ashamed of my race. I am quite happy with my heritage. After all, we have great hair, great food and the festival of Holi which has been appropriated around the world as a big colour-throwing party.
The reason I say am a white South African is that I apparently enjoy most of the things white people do according the book Stuff South African White People Like.
This tongue-in-cheek book is the local adaptation of Stuff White People Like written by American blogger Christian Lander. The local adaptation is brought to us by blogger, writer and former FHM editor Hagen Engler – and boy, he does not hold back.
The back of the book reads:
They are all of these things and none of them. They are unique combinations of dozens of odd predilections. They are white people and they are among us. They are few, but they are powerful. Learn the ways of whiteness and they will buy you biltong, take you to the cricket and help you download series that aren’t even showing here yet!
This is just a taste of the witty, funny, somewhat offensive things to expect in this book.
Engler writes about white people like a separate entity that he studied over years of observation. His writing borders on ridicule and while it is easy to be insulted by the stereotypical boxes the book categorises people in, it is also quite hilarious. And we can’t pretend that stereotypes don’t stem from some sort of truth.
The book reads like an almanac of activities, items and behaviour white people enjoy. In a rather cheeky way, Engler tells of what white people like, why they like it and how to engage with them on various topics.
These topics cover everything from Oppikoppi to Woolworths, two-tone tops and being outdoors. I found myself laughing until my sides hurt at how white people can’t live without coffee, how they love having token black friends and how Table Mountain is their Mecca.
Regardless of how funny I found the book, I realised that race is still a sensitive topic in this country and that laughing at white people’s expense may not be the best thing in this rainbow nation.
The book has received mix responses across publications. People either love it or hate it. I think that people who are able to laugh at themselves are the ones who are inclined to like it.
I gave the book to my white friends to find out what they thought about it, and to see if they would be offended. They loved it. They would open the book to any page and always laugh instantaneously.
They would say things like “Oh my gosh! That’s so true!” or “I do that all the time!” and even: “That’s my mother!”
When reading the section on the actuality show Carte Blanche,journalist and former Carte Blanche presenter Ruda Landman exclaimed “Eina!” It talks about how their show is an editorial mix that appeals to the white people’s interests without going into the world of actual politics. It also says never to phone or visit white people during Carte Blanche, but you can text them about Carte Blanche.
“Historically, Carte Blanche was a show for white people as they were our biggest market at the time, but they have changed their programming to include the diversity of the country. Even so the show producers should read this,” said Landman.
The funniest part of the book is how much of myself I saw in those pages. The sections on BA degrees, film festivals and expensive sandwiches could have been written about me. My inclination for the arts; my taste in food and music; my love of leather jackets are things I share with my white compatriots.
In fact, these are things I share with most of my compatriots regardless of colour or creed. A more appropriate name for this book should be Stuff All Middle-Class South Africans Like.
Some of the things white people (apparently) like
- Camping – or any activity outdoors
- Scarves – they accommodate the illogical way a white person’s body temperature works when your neck is cold but your arms are not
- The Western Cape Government – because it works!
- Oppikoppi – it’s outdoors! With rock music!
- Charlize Theron – she’s from Benoni
- Ubuntu – because we are inclusive and transformative.
This contribution was produced as part of a collaboration between LitNet and the University of Stellenbosch's Department of Journalism in 2014.