Die oorgrote meerderheid mense lewe, gaan dood en word in meerdere of mindere mate onthou deur diegene wat hulle (goed) geken het. Sodra hierdie kennisse sterf, is daar eintlik niemand oor wat iets van daardie oorledenes weet nie. Vir baie van hulle is daar miskien 'n grafskrif of 'n inskrywing (bv naam, geboorte- en sterfdatum) in die owerheidsargief, maar niemand kan dan hierdie inligting verbind met hoedanig hierdie eens lewende mense was nie. Die dooies oor wie ons meer weet, is die uitsonderings.
Daar is 'n manier om beter deur latere geslagte onthou te word, naamlik deur iets te doen, hetsy positief of negatief, wat 'n spoor nalaat. Hierdie spoor kan in die vorm van 'n gebeurtenis wat onthou word, wees, bv die besluit van 'n politikus wat belangrike historiese gevolge het. Die spoor kan ook 'n meer konkrete vorm aanneem, soos die skilderye of beeldhouwerke wat 'n kunstenaar nalaat, of die geboue wat 'n argitek ontwerp het. Vir gewone sterflinge is daar die opsie om iets te skryf wat deur latere geslagte bewaar en gelees word.
Dit is wat Kathleen Lamond (1893-1982) gedoen het. Haar herinneringe, First Memories (2011, 133p, Amazon Kindle, $6.99), is bykans drie dekades na haar dood gepubliseer; danksy, enersyds, die moeite wat sy gedoen het om in haar ouderdom haar herinneringe neer te skryf en andersyds familielede wat moeite gedoen het om haar teks te laat publiseer. Voor publikasie was daar net die manuskrip wat moontlik bloot ter inligting van die familie geskryf is. Kathleen het getwyfel of iemand dit sou lees: "If anybody ever reads my ramblings ..." (Kindle 1728). Publikasie maak wyer gebruik moontlik en die meerdere eksemplare maak dit onwaarskynlik dat die teks (gou) verlore sal gaan.
Daar word dikwels beweer dat glad te veel inligting gepubliseer word, dat 'n mens 'n al hoe kleiner persentasie daarvan kan baasraak, gevolglik is spesialisering vir bv die vakmens noodsaaklik; ook dat glad te veel prul geskep en in bv nasionale biblioteke bewaar word. Die koms van elektroniese naas gedrukte publikasie het hierdie probleme eksponensieel vererger. Aan die ander kant maak elektroniese publikasie dit moontlik om teks te publiseer wat waardevol kan wees en voorheen nie onder die publiek se aandag sou gekom het nie. Lamond se boek val in hierdie kategorie. Hoe verder terug sulke gerekordeerde persoonlike ervarings dateer, des te meer kan hulle die nageslag inlig oor wat was en nie meer is nie.
Die boekomslag vertoon die portret van 'n mooi brunet. Buiten wat in die boek staan, was dit nie moontlik om iets oor die outeur te wete te kom nie. Selfs oor die boek kon ek net 'n enkele mening opspoor. Wat die lees van die boek tuisbring, is dat Lamond oor 'n sterk waarnemingsvermoë en 'n uitstekende geheue beskik het: "The miracle of a vivid memory is that it needs no words" (2015). Haar teks wek die indruk van spontaneïteit; dat sy die gegewens moeiteloos uit haar geheue opgediep en nie nodig gehad het om eers te gaan lees sodat sy haar herinneringe kon verfris of korrigeer nie. Wanneer sy iets nie kon onthou nie, of onseker daaroor was, het sy dit erken.
Die teks wek die indruk dat sy dit geniet het om 'n herbesoek aan haar verlede te bring. Die outobiografie dek net die eerste drie dekades van haar lewe, nie die laaste ses dekades nie, vandaar die boektitel. Sy het geskryf sonder om haar ego te beskerm. Dit blyk veral uit die einde van my skrywe, maar hier volg nog drie voorbeelde:
* "I know my boredom with the rest of my studies was, largely, my own fault. I wasn't interested, so I didn't bother to work. This was, and is, a fundamental weakness in my character" (1705).
* "Nobody could think of a single word that describe any of my negligible attributes. It was humiliating to be nothing but a nothing, not a thing at all. I wished I could sink through the floor, but had a horrid feeling that if I did, nobody would realise I was no longer there" (2009).
* "What had I ever done to deserve a place in the sun? Nothing - but my father had. He wasn't born rich or important. By sheer hard work, devotion to duty and integrity he had risen to near the top of his profession. He was a good man entitled to the best. It was my good fortune that I could share it for a little while, but it was no cause for false pride, only for gratitude" (2386).
Die 2010-voorwoord deur Robert George Lamond lui in sy geheel soos volg: "These are the memories of Kathleen Winifred Lamond (née Scott). She was born in Moore, Cheshire, on 26th January 1893, the daughter of George Hall Scott, an eminent civil engineer, and his wife Margaret (née Wilkinson). She was the sister of the airship pioneer George Herbert [Bertie/Bert] Scott [1888-1930] who died in the R101 disaster."
[Bert was Kathleen se oudste broer. Die R101-lugskip het op pad na Indië op sy eerste buitelandse vlug naby Beauvais in Noord-Frankryk neergestort met 'n lewensverlies van 48 uit die 54 aan boord. Daar was 'n ouer broer as Bert, maar Kathleen het hom nooit geken nie: "Archie was in Heaven we were told because he was 'too good for this world'. I'm sure our mother never really got over his death from bronchitis when he was only two years old" (87).]
"This account of her life covers the period from 1896, aged 3, to her marriage in 1922 to Douglas Lamond. She did not begin to write her story until well into her eighties and as far as I know she never kept a diary, so the very detailed narrative suggests a remarkable memory. The general absence of dates makes it sometimes difficult to pinpoint chronological events but her writing style is easy and the entire story is a touching recollection of middle class English life in a bygone age."
"She died on 26 December, 1982, and is buried alongside her husband in the church cemetery in the little Scottish village of Braco in Perthshire." [In haar boek skryf Kathleen: "I thought Perthshire the most beautiful country I had ever seen and felt I would like to spend my life there" (3117).]
In the erkennings word George Scott, 'n kleinkind van John, 'n jonger broer van Kathleen, bedank vir sy redaksionele hulp. [Kathleen het soos volg oor haar broer John geskryf/geskinder: "We did not expect John to have a wife and son! It was a foolish marriage; they were both far too young. He was only twenty and his wife little more than a child. She was a pretty girl but not very practical. We felt she would never be able to cope with the responsibilities of a home and a family. We didn't know they were married until a few months before George was born. It was a shock" (3029).] Die skrywer van die voorwoord se verwantskap word egter nie genoem nie. Van die manuskrip word gesê: "originally produced on foolscap using an ancient manual typewriter." Ten spyte van al die redaksionele arbeid kom daar 'n hele aantal tikfoute in die gepubliseerde teks voor. Dat heelwat van die oorspronklike tikwerk moontlik onveranderd in die elektroniese teks neerslag gevind het, blyk soms uit 'n verkeerd getikte 1, I en l.
In haar eerste sin noem Kathleen dat sy 'n "great grandmother" is. In die eerste hoofstuk skryf sy oor haar ouma; oor hoe hulle in 1896 met die trein uit Northumberland (in die noorde van Engeland) na Plymouth, Devon (aan die suidkus), gereis het. Kathleen se pa was as ingenieur betrokke by die bou van die Devonport-dokke. Ons het dus hier 'n outeur wat sewe geslagte eerstehands ervaar het. Haar helder geheue was bevolk met die doen en late van mense waarvan die meeste reeds lank dood is; party uit die victoriaanse (1837-1901) en edwardiaanse (1901-1910) tyd.
Terugskouend het die outeur oor haarself as kind gedink: "My body would mature and grow old but the girl inside me would never age or wither or lose her delight in the simple, lovely, funny things that make life worth living" (2287). "Ours was quite a large family at one time. It is ironic that one frail little girl, of no importance whatever, has outlived them all. I can't think why. I shall never forget them. How can we say that people are dead when they live on in the memories of those who knew and loved them? I am the old one now and can only hope someone will remember me when it is my turn to move on" (1228). "I never feel that death is a tragedy to the old ... when my time comes, I don't want my children and grandchildren to weep for me - just to remember me sometimes" (2170).Oor haar skoolmaats skryf Kathleen: "It is depressing to think of all those girls who went out of my life as completely as if they had never lived. Yet, in my mind, I see them still. They will never be forgotten; they can never change" (1460). "We don't stop loving those who have died. Do they stop loving us? Surely not. It isn't possible for us to imagine Life after Death but Eternal Love is both human and divine and that is a comforting thought" (2809).
Kathleen vertel van "Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee" in 1897, dus toe Victoria reeds 60 jaar op die troon was. Kathleen beskryf die klere wat sy, haar ma en haar twee ouer broers by daardie geleentheid aangehad het, maar "I can't quite see my father" (127). "There was another royal occasion a few years later, when the Queen drove through the streets of Plymouth ... a tiny, little lady in an open carriage. She looked very old and rather tired" (150). Die outeur maak tereg teen Victoria se "excessive mourning" beswaar (157; SêNet 8 Okt). Sy roep ook in herinnering die dag waarop Victoria dood is, "She would be happy to be in Heaven with Prince Albert" (488), en die rolprent oor haar begrafnis (1141).
Later verwys Kathleen na die tyd toe Waldorf en daarna Nancy Astor Plymouth in die parlement verteenwoordig het (SêNet 28 Feb). "We were rather proud Plymouth had the first woman MP" (1123). Sy verwys ook na die dood van Edward VII en die troonopvolging van George V (1910-1936). Sy onthou ook toe die weeldeskip Titanic in 1912 met 'n lewensverlies van meer as 1 500 mense by Newfoundland gesink het. "It seemed impossible, and terrible beyond belief, that our wonderful, unsinkable ship should fail to complete her maiden voyage" (2074). Daarna beleef sy die verskrikking van die Eerste Wêreldoorlog (1914-1918) en die Spaanse grieppandemie (1918). Sy het bv gesien hoe 'n Zeppelin-lugskip in Londen neerstort. In haar jeug het Kathleen 'n man geken wat in die Krim-oorlog (1853-1856) geveg het. Florence Nightingale (1820-1910) het as verpleegster op grond van haar werk daar 'n legende geword.
Die outeur is deurgaans diep bewus van tydelikheid en verganklikheid. "The things we see and hear, as we drift by, are often beautiful and interesting, sometimes exciting, but they are just pictures. They can never hold back the steady flow that bears us relentlessly on" (1408) "We are links in a long chain stretching back to the beginning of man's existence and on into a distant future none of us can possibly foresee or even begin to imagine" (3071). Aan die begin van 1900 (pleks van 1901) "Father made a little speech of welcome to the 20th Century." "Nobody could hope to see the birth of a new [century] more than once in a lifetime" (446). "I'm sure our parents must have looked at our eager young faces and wondered what the future held for us ... they would have been horrified at the perils and privations of two dreadful wars ... The later wonders of the electronic age that we accept as normal would have seemed to them the crazy delusions of a disordered mind" (452).
Haar herinneringe gaan ook terug na die Anglo-Boere-oorlog (1899-1902): "The boys had a big train set and fort with [a] lot of soldiers. During the Boer War we had great battles and ... I was always the Boers!" (588). [Daar word dikwels nie besef watter groot verdeeldheid daar in Brittanje oor hierdie oorlog was en die groot simpatie wat daar in konserwatiewe geledere met die Boere was nie.] Gedurende hierdie oorlog "there were very few victories to celebrate - just reliefs" (588). "Mother made a special sweet that we always called Ladysmith Pudding" (594), na aanleiding van die Britse beëindiging in 1900 van die Boere se beleg van Ladysmith.
Na die geboorte van haar sesde kind (Kathleen was die enigste dogter) het die outeur se ma, al was sy gelukkig getroud, drank- en vetsugtig geword. In 1905 is haar rug dermate in 'n ongeluk beseer dat sy die res van haar lewe, sewe jaar lank, bedlêend was. Sy is in 1913 op 50-jarige ouderdom dood. "It is mostly a mother who holds a family together" (3048). Hulle huis "would never again be a real home" (2216). Hulle het van Plymouth na Londen verhuis. "Enchanting, that was the only word to describe the effect of actually living in London" (2374). Londen was "a Wonderland. It was not part of a dream, it was real, vibrant with life and I loved it" (2380). "We had lost our mother but we were still a family and, I hoped, a happy one" (2275).
Toe die Scotts in Plymouth gewoon het, was Florence 'n tyd lank hulle kok. Florence se baba, Queenie, is vroeg dood. Daarna het die egpaar 'n seun, Jimmie, gehad. Kathleen se pa het vir Florence se man, toe hy werkloos was, konstruksiewerk by die nuwe hawe gekry. Hy is egter daar in 'n ongeluk dood en Kathleen se pa het (deels) verantwoordelik vir sy dood gevoel. Hy het Florence en Jimmie by hulle laat inwoon. Later het Florence en Jimmie in Yelverton, Devon, gaan bly, waar sy 'n losieshuis bedryf het.
By Florence het Kathleen te hore gekom dat sy met haar pa gaan trou. Kathleen was geskok en ongelukkig omdat haar pa haar nie self ingelig het nie. "Father's friends ... were, frankly horrified. In their opinion, men in my father's position did not marry their former cooks, however respectable they might be. It simply wasn't done ... when Florence broke off the engagement, it would be dishonest to pretend that I wasn't relieved. I had been brought up in a snobbish era and it hurt to feel that my father might lose the respect of his friends" (2590). "Something had gone out of my happy relationship with my father that could never be restored" (2595). Sy het elders gaan loseer.
Daarna het haar pa en Florence tog getrou, maar hulle het nie in Londen nie maar in die platteland, by Chew Magna in Somerset, gaan woon. Die vuur in die kaggel was ook nog nie uit nie, maar Florence het 'n miskraam gehad. Sy het 'n pynlike nierprobleem gehad wat aanleiding tot stilstuipe gegee het. Anders as haar pa se vorige huise, "Chota Castle had never been mine" (2703). Na die oorlog het haar pa weer in Londen gewerk en het hulle in Buckingham gewoon. Die Scott kinders het hulle stiefma "Steppie" genoem (2750). Gedurende die Eerste Wêreldoorlog het Kathleen as 'n vrywilliger in hospitale gewerk en is sy "Scottie" genoem (2773).
Kathleen en haar familie, die Scotts, het hulleself altyd, nieteenstaande hulle van, as "completely English" beskou. Toe hulle in later jare hulle stamboek opdiep, het hulle agtergekom "one of our ancestors was, actually, grandfather to Sir Walter Scott [1771-1832] ... For the first time I felt we had roots, and a small place in History" (2092). Meer as een keer noem Kathleen dat sy altyd in ouer mans belanggestel het. Douglas Lamond was so 'n man. Hy was 'n afstammeling van die Clan Lamont en daar is 'n Skotse meer, Loch Lomond, wat na hulle genoem is.
Sy het hierdie Skot in 1914 ontmoet. "He ... was regarded, if not exactly as the black sheep of the family, certainly as a rolling stone ... he had volunteered for service in South Africa. When the war was over he stayed on for a few years, then went to Australia. He had gathered no moss on the way and had no prospects" (2667). "There could be no formal engagement till Douglas was in a position to provide a home for us. As he planned to join the army, that would take a considerable time" (2680). Tydens die Eerste Wêreldoorlog het Douglas in 1917 tuisverlof gekry, maar eers sy broer in Glasgow besoek voordat hy enkele dae by Kathleen deurgebring het. Hy het eers in 1919 van die oorlog af uit Frankryk teruggekom. Hulle het toe verloof geraak.
Douglas kon nie werk kry nie en het toe sy eie motorhuuronderneming in Glasgow begin. "The car hire service was just about paying its way but not likely to make much of a fortune for us" (3152). "When I was married, we would be living in Scotland and I had no illusions about it. I knew we would never be rich" (3082). In 1921 "Douglas had found a job in Greenock [naby Glasgow] as a transport manager ... The salary was not large but quite enough for us to live in reasonable comfort. We could be married as soon as we found somewhere to live" (3185). Kathleen het die kok in 'n huis in Farnham, Surrey, geword. In hierdie tyd is Douglas se ma dood: "He would have no home which was his by right," want die huis waarin sy ma gewoon het, het aan Douglas se broer behoort (3272).
Kathleen se pa het afgetree en in Purley, Croydon, by Londen, gaan woon. "Then [stepmother] Florence (not my father) suggested that perhaps Douglas wasn't as anxious to be married as I was. He had been a bachelor for nearly forty years and it was possible he couldn't face the responsibility of having a wife and perhaps a family to support. I didn't doubt his love for me but there might be some truth in what she said ... they had never really approved of my choice of a husband" (3284). Hulle het voorgestel dat sy Douglas los en dat hulle haar geldelik sou ondersteun sodat sy haar eie sake-onderneming kon begin. Kathleen het die aanbod aanvaar en Douglas per brief ingelig "that he was free ... He just accepted my miserable decision and it was all over" (3289).
Kathleen het egter nie kans gesien om op haar eie 'n winkel te bedryf en 'n oujongnooi te word nie. Sy het weer aan Douglas geskryf en hy het 'n gedig aan haar gestuur. "It nearly broke my heart to realise what I had done to him. I told my father that I could never give him up, and he accepted my decision ... I went to Glasgow on January 11th, 1922 and the next day we were married" (3307); dus kort voor sy 29 jaar oud geword het en na 'n verhouding van sewe jaar. Douglas het broers en susters gehad wat nooit getrou het nie. Dit is taamlik duidelik dat daar by hom 'n ernstige tekort aan testosteroon was. Kathleen het ook erken: "I lacked ... sex appeal" (2601). Tog het hulle drie kinders (twee dogters en 'n seun) gehad. Oor haar lewensloop na hulle troue het Kathleen egter nie geskryf nie. Sy het 'n man getrou wat meer as tien jaar ouer as sy was. So 'n ouer man is geneig om lank voor sy vrou dood te gaan. Pleks van 'n oujongnooi te word, het sy gekies om lank 'n weduwee te wees.
Johannes Comestor
Kommentaar
Dis 'n mooi, menslike verhaal wat ek werklik geniet het. Miskien is dit die bewustheid van verganklikheid wat oorheesend is. Johannes, jou inleiding het ook hiertoe bygedra. Dankie.