The history of my insomnia
(for the Dutch poet Joop Bersee)
By talking to us, you accept us, and
sometimes, just sometimes, the storm
goes away when drinking rooibos or
walking on the beach or making love.
It’s been a quiet day today. Rain in the
air fresh. The streets are wet. There’s a
purity about the day. I’m reading and
reading and reading. Happy to be in this
space. Still dedicating poems to you.
In a way, you saved me. In a way, you
saved me and dad. The psychiatrist said
extraordinary people suffer from
depression. The psychotherapist said
I should smile more. All the clinical
psychologists that I’ve ever met took
notes. Case study. Outpatient. Inpatient.
(In) high care (on) suicide watch. And
after 20 years, we’ve learned to educate ourselves,
and I treat grizzly bears with kindness now.
Do more than just tolerate them. I love them.