The history of my insomnia

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The history of my insomnia
(for the Dutch poet Joop Bersee)

    By talking to us, you accept us, and
    sometimes, just sometimes, the storm
    goes away when drinking rooibos or
    walking on the beach or making love.
    It’s been a quiet day today. Rain in the
    air fresh. The streets are wet. There’s a
    purity about the day. I’m reading and
    reading and reading. Happy to be in this
    space. Still dedicating poems to you.
    In a way, you saved me. In a way, you
    saved me and dad. The psychiatrist said
    extraordinary people suffer from
    depression. The psychotherapist said
    I should smile more. All the clinical
    psychologists that I’ve ever met took

notes. Case study. Outpatient. Inpatient.
(In) high care (on) suicide watch. And

after 20 years, we’ve learned to educate ourselves,
and I treat grizzly bears with kindness now.
Do more than just tolerate them. I love them.

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