Auntie Schwartz,
Francois can’t lose his cool on account of the fact that he is constantly without his cool. Every letter he writes he comes out punchin’ – a kickin’ an’ a screamin’ an’ a foamin’ at the mouth an’ hollerin’ blue murder and accusin’ all who ain’t arse lickin’ an’ suckin’ up to the gov’mint as vile racist bastards. Definitely not the manner of a person in possession of his cool.
Even if he comments on stuff not addressed to him (to which he is entitled to, of course) he acts as though the person has slept with his sister, mother, grandmother and girlfriend. If the person attacked experiences a bit of heat under the collar and reacts in the same vein as Francois, ie not in his usual vein, the one you’ve grown accustomed to, you deem that person to have lost his cool whereas Francois, already in hysterical mode, to you seems to have lost no cool (one can’t lose something one has never possessed).
You are not the first person who hinted that Francois is saying what he’s saying with a twinkle in his eye and his tongue in his cheek but this is because he makes such outrageously absurd statements. He expresses opinions that simply can not be ascribed to a sane person and therefore, you conclude, he must be extracting urine from his assailants. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, they are his assailees and the bulge in his cheek is not his tongue but his foot.
But, and I’ve said it before, I want him to keep on writing here and as much as possible. Much pleasure is derived from responding to Francois in a like vein; one has to let one’s hair down every now and so often and Francois provides opportunities galore. And there is the added bonus that time and again, albeit indirectly, he exposes the dwaling of the so-called liberals.
Groetnis,
Jan Rap